Calorie bombs

I have a wipe-off wall calendar in my office on which I write deadlines, meetings, and other important days for myself and staff to remember. I've recently begun drawing a cartoon bomb on every day that there will be some sort of sugar-laden caloriefest at the office. Next week, there are three calorie bombs on the calendar.

I know this should be about my own self-control. I mean, why should I ruin everyone else's fun? But why is it we have no other way to celebrate the season or life's milestones but indulging in high-carb orgies? Is everything worth that manner of celebration?

Halloween begins the eating season here at our little association, and the season continues through New Year's. If it were just Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Chrismakwanzakkuh, I would be content. But it's every day between. So now celebrations mean nothing, and there's nothing in particular to look forward to because you just can't top the sugar orgies.

You'd think that would be enough to keep me away, to help me moderate. Nope. I'm a junkie. I realize not everyone has my glacially paced metabolism or my sugar addiction. But can this be good for any of us? We're stuffing our faces constantly, and it isn't even fun.

I wish we were throwing french fry parties. Those I could resist. Or pretzel parties. Or cold cut parties.

If I'm going to eat gloppy, sloppy sweets, I want to look forward to them and have them rarely. Jeff and I have been planning an anniversary cake all year because the wedding cake last year was so yummy and we barely got to have any at all. Now, that's something to look forward to. Not the joyless stuffing of our faces with random crap that's probably been purchased from Safeway, anyway, and not even made lovingly at home.

I will try to resist. I know it's all crap, but I can withstand anything but temptation. But I'd prefer a change of mindset entirely. I want to usher in the age of the office cold cut party.

Pimiento loaf, anyone?



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